Autobiographies/Publications

I was very satisfied with my life otherwise.

Edited by Bernhard Gamsjäger. Edition Weinviertel (Pub.), Gösing am Wagram, 1999.

I didn’t enjoy having to fight a war...My only thought was to survive the war because I didn’t feel like giving my young life for such a crime. And I thought that despite the fact that Hitler had been holy to me at one point.

The peasant was against Hitler. I can still remember how the priest said, "go vote, go vote; the Nazis are eating us," everywhere he went. That was right at the end, in March 1938, I can still remember well. And the SA men were already going around - that was in the time before the Anschluss (annexation). I didn’t have a salary, I didn’t have anything, and after a few months I thought, "the farmers can afford a lot more now than before."

And they bought me a bicycle. I was completely surprised. And then construction sites shot up everywhere and I enjoyed working up there (for the farmer) less and less. My father also got a job there (at a construction site). He started working for the railway and was never laid off, right up to his retirement. Mother threw out the straw sacks, bought herself a mattress, that was also a luxury...!

And a street worker, (Josef Harreiter corrects himself), and older street worker said, "You!" – because, I told him, that my farmer paid me a salary and had registered me for public health insurance. I had never been insured before, I wouldn’t have been able to go to the doctor if I had become ill. Meanwhile, I was having a Gwirkst (colloquial for problem), with a tooth. I had suffered great pain and the doctors wouldn’t pull it because I couldn’t pay them.

And now he said (the street worker): "But," he said, "you have to keep moving, otherwise you will always be a farm worker if he registers you."

So I left the place at night and never went back. And I worked on a construction at a wild creek until Christmas. Then I received an assignment at the factory.

(Sound problems, Josef Harreiter reaches for his clip-on microphone) Listen, they were all jealous because a poor boy like me was allowed to work in a warm Bude, (colloquial term for place)!

And then I entered into the service, in Vienna, at the Arsenal, I became "a Prussian soldier". And I was an enthusiastic Nazi, enthusiastic until 4 August 1941. Then it was over in a moment for me. I became the greatest foe. And it was so:

I am with the Mess Officer, we take the field kettle and drive out to get food with the light truck. That was in Schitomir on 4 August ´41. And we got lost in the narrow alleys on the way back. And (he clears his throat) we hear shooting and people screaming. Now the NCO (non-commissioned officer) says, "hear that? Those are partisans." So we released the safety catches on our guns... It sounded as if silencers were being used. So we keep driving and it is getting nearer and nearer... We then come to a halt and the NCO gets out and climbs up thirty steps, over an embankment. There were wooden planks there and he looked in between them, beckoning for me to come up and join him. I run up and also take a look. Do you know what I saw there?

There was a large ditch there, about as big as the garden here and it was half full with dead bodies. And above the ditch was a staircase on which they whipped men, women and children on their way up.

The children were in the hands of their mothers. There was screaming, wailing and moaning everywhere. And hundreds were waiting for their turn... They knew exactly that if the stairs were full, the unit would go "trrr, trrr, trrr" (he imitates machine gun fire) and then all of them would fall into the pit – that is what would happen to them too... And those who still moved in there were shot in the neck. Yes, and that wasn’t the worst that could happen.

Then they walked around with pliers and tore gold out of some of their mouths. The others had to wait until it was their turn. Imagine something like that! And I ran away – I couldn’t watch anymore, the NCO watched for a little bit longer and then he followed me. And still I asked him what he had to say about it. He said, "I can’t say anything, I am that shocked!"

He then says, "Poor Germany, something like this will be avenged. The whole world - he was from Berlin – will fight against us. And ultimately we will also be whipped up stairs like those people or be destroyed from the air." ... Oh well.

While we were driving back he said: "But we won’t tell anyone anything. Not that we saw that gruesome execution of Jews!" ... Then I thought to myself: "Fix!" I was full of hatred; the Führer has to know about this. Hitler has to know about such things!

That they made concentration camps... I thought, well we also had Wöllersdorf in Austria, there are a lot of such camps, and I saw those concentration camps as detention camps...

And I thought, mused over it again and again: "Dear God, what kind of soldiers are willing to do such things, soldiers who are capable of shooting innocent children from the arms of their mothers. They can’t be soldiers. They have to be selected criminals!"

I had to "study" night and day, I couldn’t sleep. What now? Should I defect to the Russians? Didn’t say a word to anyone. I couldn’t sleep anymore. No. Either they (the Russians) will shoot me on the spot, of course why bother taking a single person prisoner, or they banish me to a forced labour camp in Siberia right away... No, I did not desert; time passed and I became a passive soldier, a totally passive soldier.

We were in Kharkiv, Russia, assigned to fight partisans. We were always in our quarters, a little house. We had a room there, smaller than this (gestures in the room in which the interview is taking place, approx. 15m2), for the two of us... for almost six months. And (Comrade Willi) always played the great victor... I didn’t, I said, "Willi, that is behind us and I don’t like the SS at all."

And well, I had the feeling that I had to be good to the people (the Russian family we were staying with). Most of all, I wanted to apologise for barging in... And I always took care of them, checked if there was firewood, other wise they might have frozen.

We drove off in the truck to steal wood throughout the entire city, and Kharkiv had over one million inhabitants at the time. They were happy they had us and I told the man (the Russian), he was 60 years old, to make sure it was always warm while I supplied the wood.

And I can still remember well how we were given a bottle of wine and a large bar of chocolate for Christmas in 1941. At that time we were half surrounded, our support was not working, nothing was replenished and therefore our food situation was pretty bad... we were always given a little bit of thin stew – and I was always hungry!

The woman, the Russian often gave me a plate of soup. And I thought, she’s given me a plate of soup so often that I will give her daughter’s little one, her granddaughter, who was three something. So I gave her the chocolate bar. Good God...!

She didn’t know what chocolate was. But I would have liked it myself"

In June 1943 we weren’t in the southern sector anymore, we were in the middle sector, close to Orel, because the Russians had collapsed there and Hitler thought he could surround and cut off the two Russian armies that had advanced into German-occupied territory. He hoped we would take a few hundred thousand prisoners, but we did not succeed. We got there at the end of June 1943 and we fought, but we didn’t advance a single metre. Yes, so Hitler began an offensive in June, end of June.

And on 25 July – I still can’t believe that I am alive today – on 25 July I had to bring food supplies to the tanks (assault tanks) on the front lines in a little amphibious VW since we cooked further back in the car pool. We were at the back, along with the repair shop, the kitchen and the mailroom and the rest... And the order was: "Take this loading gunner with you! He was a real youngster, one of the replacements. He’s only been here for a few days, he has to join you because dead and wounded have been reported..."

Yes, so we drive – and I can’t find our tanks, I can’t find them. There are explosions every where, next to us, behind us and then I look: Jessas (Jesus), the Landsers are fleeing, retreating... flames and explosions every where! Jesus and the Russian tanks are coming towards us! I turned around and then knew nothing else, I left...

Imagine the luck I had. But the boy was dead, he hadn’t even been on the front for a day (J.H. corrects himself), he’d been there a few days and was already dead... he was dead. We took a solid hit in the truck, the army kitchen truck, and I was injured – only here – a splinter hit me here because I was looking around (J.H. looks to the side and shows the place on his temple). There, you can still touch it. The splinter entered my head right under my skull. It is still stuck there, it didn’t injure the brain. It went right through the steel helmet. If I hadn’t had the steel helmet it would have taken my head off, torn off my skull... I fell out of the truck, unconscious and lay on the edge of the path – they told me. Of course I didn’t know, but the Sani, the medics – we call them Sani – told me when I woke up the next day in a large tent in the main field hospital. I was bandaged and I had a headache... He said (the medic): "You were very lucky!" I said: "Why?" He said: "We were driving back in the ambulance and there were dead Landsers lying on the ground. And we thought you were dead, but then you moved your hand a bit and I happened to be looking by coincidence." He continued, "If I hadn’t looked by coincidence and seen how you happen to move your hand at that moment, I would have thought: Well, he’s also dead and the Russian tanks would have come later and rolled right over you. So where would we be now?" I said, "Where?" On a commemorative plaque, reported missing and no where else." And then I said: "I thank you very much!"

They just took me, because I was still alive, grabbed my hands, heaved me into the truck and brought me to the field hospital.

I returned to my unit and we headed west in November, with completely new equipment. We were sent into action again in the offensive through the Ardennes on 16 December 1945. This because Hitler thought he could chase the Americans out of France again, ... but it wasn’t successful. And we captured food supplies: cans, meat, and all of us looked equally well. There was alcohol and everything, and there were parties. And the fanatics said: "Our Führer will manage, he knows how we can destroy our enemies!" And so they spoke. Yes, well, it didn’t take long and the advance was over and we had to retreat...

In the middle of northern Germany: "Will Austria become an independent country again?"

And then the Spieß (company sergeant) told me to bring a forgotten box along for a Lieutenant from Klesen. Now I drove there with a car. And the American dive-bombers flew in just as I arrived in Klesen. They flew very low, shooting at everything with their onboard guns. And I quickly drove into a courtyard and went down into the cellar. And there were civilians down there. I started to speak to them and they said, "You’re from Austria?" "Yes, what will happen after the victory? Will Austria become an independent country again?" So I say, "Why, the war isn’t lost yet, or?" "It is, it is, I can only tell you one thing, we would all be very happy if the Americans were already here. The war can’t be won anymore," they said. That’s what they told me down there. I was very surprised, because they confided in me. Now I chose to stay down there for a long time...

But it was an offence to stay away from your unit for longer than four hours and I stayed away for eight hours.

The worst thing was that the boss, the Lieutenant Colonel, would have needed the car. So, now that I had returned, the Spieß started screaming: "I am going to court martial you!" and so on. Horrible. "You will have the night watch as a penalty. Aren’t you aware of what you have done in this tense situation?!"

Yes, now I only had one thought: take off. There is nothing else for me. Yes, at night I will report for the watch. It was my turn for the first time at ten o’clock. Before duty, I had loaded my pistol with ammunition and everything and also had spare clips tucked away. Everything that was edible was packed in my laundry sack, which I had brought to where I would be on duty in advance since it was already dark. And after standing there for ten minutes I leaned my rifle against the wall, picked up my laundry sack and took off.

And then I thought – pistol at the ready: I will resist if the SS catches me, but the last bullet is mine! I won’t let myself be captured by them.

Among the Americans

What do I do now? I came to an embankment on the road and lay there, listening to the cars drive over me. Now I don’t know: are these Americans or Germans?! Then I crawled up and looked. Americans. I walked over, threw away my weapons and the ammunition and stood there. First came a jeep, it drove past me, didn’t see me. The second one stops. I raise my hands, up high. He gets out, points the gun at me and starts searching my laundry sack.

They didn’t find weapons. Only ammunition and the Americans threw away the carrots that I had collected before. I am forced to sit on the hood with my hands folded. And they drove off with me.

Well, the next day we marched away, a column of about 2000 men. In front of the train station in Düren stood a long freight train with very small American two-axle train cars. And eighty men had to line up in front of each wagon and get in. The cars were full after around 40 men boarded them, but we also had to get in. And if we weren’t quick, they would take their rifle stalks – the French were guarding us - and push us with them. Once inside, they locked the doors, making it very dark inside and we could barely breathe. Then someone started yelling hysterically, "Open up, you criminals, we’re suffocating, you murderers. Open up!"

A Frenchman opened the door. A man was standing outside who could speak German, he must have been a Jew and he said to us: "You were far more horrible to your Russian prisoners!"

Then he, the Jew (I think he was a Jew), told the Frenchman to bring water. They brought a tin bucket of water and put it next to the opening. Naturally everyone leaped forward, spilling most of it. And then he locked the door again.

After fourteen days (in March 1945, in a transit camp out in the open) we – approximately 1600 people – had to march to a train station and the transport was intended for the starving camp in Rennes. That is where you’re going they said. The French didn’t say that that was the starving camp, it just kind of seeped through. There were around 300,000 in that camp. No one dared to step out of the column, because the French shot immediately. And they were standing there in civilian clothing on the edge of the path, yes:

(Josef Harreiter imitates the French mocking them): "‘Eil ‘itler, ‘eil ‘itler, we never capitulate, we never capitulate. Sieg ‘eil, ‘eil ‘itler. We thank our Führer. Sieg ‘eil. Bombs away over Germany!" that’s the way they made fun of us, the French...

... And then we were packed into open train cars. And the train always slowed down when we passed through an underway. Then people threw stones at us. Almost everyone of us had Platschern (wounds) afterwards. And they laughed at us. ...

And then we sat in that tent from 20 March until 20 August 1945. We didn’t do a thing. Now there was black coffee in the morning, coloured water. And at 10 o’clock we were given our "Pletschensuppen", we called it. It was soup made of cabbage that is fed to animals, it grows to this height (J.H. gestures) and they added a binding element to it. That was it. The cabbage was cooked and that yielded a litre of soup. Each of us had a tin can, one of those American cans. I tell you, the things that happened when the soup was distributed! One had to stir continuously so the soup wouldn’t get too thin or too thick. The soup ran out a few times and then these figures were left standing there with theire empty cans, horrible. There were fights often. There was bread in the afternoon. Initially, it was four men to a loaf of bread, a slice a piece, about a kilo for the four of us. Later it was six of us per loaf. Now each of us made himself an improvised scale with a string, a thing called a "Stanglwaag", and then things were distributed precisely and there were fewer fights. The wind was annoying when we went to get our soup since sand was blown into our cans. Nonetheless, it tasted wonderful. Well, we became thinner and thinner. And so many died. Their feet swelled up, water seeped towards their hearts and when it reached the heart it was over. There was one prisoner from St. Pölten. He was employed at the Municipality and he died next to me. We still spoke to Hermann in the evening and then he was lying there dead and stiff next to me the next day. Then we were scared: They are going to let us starve to death, we have to die.

Oh, and another thing... there was a large beam. The toilet. We only had to go their once a month. I didn’t go to the toilet once in all of July 1945. My body consumed everything. It needed everything, every little bit. And the older prisoners, I was 24 years old, most of the older prisoners died there. And when we sat there it took us two hours to squeeze out a nubbin. After that, didn’t have to worry about going to the toilet for another month. Oh well.

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Copyright © 2001 by Ruth Deutschmann, Vienna

Ruth Deutschmann

Vienna, 31 July 2001